Modern Technology

Yesterday, I had a colonoscopy. Isn't technology amazing? Who thought this up? …One day, while playing with his spaghetti, little Timmy sticks a piece through his straw , then he thinks I wonder if I could look into a person’s bowel via a spaghetti camera... So, because of little Timmy, they can put a small camera on a stick up my rumpass to check for a litany of ailments. Although, it did not seem like a small camera at the time, just imagine a 2x4 going through a straw??? Actually, I didn’t feel a thing. The doctor must have given me some really good drugs, because all I remember is that one moment I am lying on my side in the operating room and the next moment I am in a recovery room speaking gibberish.

The colonoscopy went well. There is nothing to report from the colonoscopy, except that I have some very lazy, lazy bowels. Isn’t life funny? I am maniac and frantic about every aspect of my life and everything I do, but I have lazy and slow bowels. The one thing you wish would not be lazy and I got it. God / Allah / Buddha / {Insert your favorite deity} is definitely working in mysterious and weird ways this time…

So, today, I very grateful for modern technology and a lovely little camera.

Namaste

Multitudes of Gratitude

Today and yesterday, I am most grateful for our wonderful friends. Last evening we held a casual Christmas party, with games, food and loads of fun. It was so much fun to be around everyone. It was the perfect kick off to the Christmas week. We are truly blessed with such kind, happy and funny friends.

As an added bonus, we extended our circle last evening with the introduction of the most lovely soul. It warms my heart with gratitude for bringing such a beautiful person, inside and out, to our dear friend. I am so happy he found someone as special and kind as he is....

I am very grateful for my friends and time we can spend together.

Namaste

She will always be my baby..

I am so grateful for the opportunity to be in the presence of my goddaughter.

I sent her an email to find out where she would be for her birthday this year. She will be turning 12 in a few short days. Of course, once I thought that she is one year away from being a teenager, I had to wax poetic and go on about her leaving babyhood. When did this happen? She was just a drooling baby, like yesterday. When did twelve years go by? So, I thoroughly depressed myself that little AC is going to be a moody texting grunting teenager next year. But in true form AC turned my day and mood around. She replied to my email this morning telling she will not become a moody teenager next year when she turns 13 and she will always be my baby.

That is why I love her to bits. She is the coolest person. She gets it and knows when you need what you need. She is the kindest soul I have ever met. She just wants everyone to be happy. She is joy to be around and always makes me smile.

I am so grateful I have had the honor and pleasure of knowing AC. I was truly blessed when I was made her godmother. It is one of my most treasured possessions. I love her to bits.

So, today I am grateful for my favorite goddaughter.

Gratitude

Last month's homework for the Yoga Lifestyle course we were meant to "Set aside a few moments each day to write down what you are grateful for in that day". Class cancelled this month due to weather. This is good because I did not do my homework. Therefore, with this newfound second chance, I thought I would write each day until the next class in January about gratitude.

Today, I am grateful for Chai tea. This morning I had to get up at 5:30 am to go see Dr. B. Why do I do this? It was very tough and it hurt. I cursed the dark, I cursed my husband who got stay cozy in bed for another hour, I cursed Dr. B for offering a 6:30 am appt, I cursed work for making a 6:30 am appointment the only feasible option, but mostly I cursed that damn red clock on the ceiling. Just taunting me all night with the impending doom of 5:30. There was no way it was already 5:30, it felt like I just went to bed. Nevertheless, I am a trooper. Therefore, I made myself some Chai tea, said, “Two more days till a 10 day vacation”, put my head down, and pushed onwards. If it were not for the Chai Tea, I would be the grumpiest girl right now. So, “here, here” to Chai Tea!

I hope you can find the little bit of gratitude in a corner of your day and push onwards!

Namaste

The Great Awakening

I just found a poem a girlfriend gave me in 2000. The poem is called the Great Awakening. It is about just that the great awakening we all have or hope to have one day. It is when you have that big Uh Huh moment. This is why I was put on this earth, this is who I am and this is who I want to be. So,after reading it through again, I realized I am there, now. I know myself or rather I know the multiple selves and all those wants and needs. I still get confused by some of my actions, but I can usually think them through and get to the answer. It is really ironic that I found this poem Sunday, after I had dinner with a friend on Saturday who is struggling with her Great Awakening. All I can say is hold on and keep asking questions. Don't settle wih any answer, get the answer you can sit with for a while. The Great Awakening is a moving target and varies day to day, but when you hit that sweet spot you can always find your way back.

Namaste

The Red Door

So, I am a taskmaster. I love lists. I love checking things off lists. I feel accomplished and empowered as things are crossed off on my list. I know, I know...but you all have a little bit of a thrill crossing off the item on a to-do, c'mon confess, just little boost. I knew it.

So, this past weekend, I was hell bent on painting our front door the perfect shade of Red. Not too orange, not too dark. Perfect shade. Apparently, it is very auspicious to have a red door. Also, the Inventor is English and I love the red and blue front doors in the UK. I get up early to prime and paint the door. Believe me, you need to start early because the paint stays tacky forever and you want to be able to lock your front door on Monday morning. Do not believe the paint can...4 hours my foot, more like 4 days...

Primer went on easy as pie; the perfect shade of Red was not going to be so cooperative. There were roller marks (which drives me bonkers), so I switch rollers, still roller marks, so I try another coat but with a lighter touch, still roller marks (that is 3 coats if you are counting), try a new can of paint, maybe it is the paint, can't be me...So, we lightly sand, and apply two coats of the new can of paint and STILL ROLLER MARKS. I was beside myself with bitchiness. I had put my heart, soul and whole weekend into the painting of this door. I was disappointed and felt oh so cheated. I was robbed! I was horrible to the Inventor. Sorry :(

I was in no way, shape or form living in Santosha. I was sooo anti-Santosha....

At this point, I started rationalizing. "It looks great from a distance and who is going to get close enough to see the marks?”, so I said enough is enough, let it go. I was being quite good about letting it go...the door went up, new hardware and locked Monday morning. Driving out Monday, I thought to myself, that red door looks odd with our house. But I dare not say anything because of the hassles all weekend. Tuesday I ask the Inventor, what he thought of the red door. He says, "I want to see in the day light, it was dark when I came home". I am all perplexed (bit offended too...but I have no right because I was thinking the same thing) and say, "What do you mean by that? Do you not like the red door?” So, a bit of the same thing back and forth and we both realized we did not like it...

We are currently looking at shades of brown, the original color by the way...

Namaste

The Rug was Yanked

Has this ever happened to you? You have some problem, dilemma, ailment, etc and you have done everything on this green earth to solve it. You have tried Ayurvedic medicine, yoga, running, western medicine, this herb, that herb, yoga, the endocrinologist, quackery, physical therapy, massage therapy...everything to the point I have gone crazy....oh yeah, also a psychologist...

So, I found a chiropractor and acupuncturist for one more go at the solution. The Inventor says he will come along because he has a numb toe and a bump wing...so, we go to a couple of sessions, we are feeling much better. We have been SAVED! It is a miracle! I can do things I have not been able to do in 3 years! I have a doctor who actually believes my symptoms are worth treating. He does not say, "Yeah, yeah...take this $300 prescription and you will be fine. You will lose all touch with reality but you will be able to sleep". I am feeling good and normal. I have found the SOLUTION!!!! TAH DAH!!!

Then, while having dinner with friends and boasting about the new us, the Inventor makes the waving hand gestures to the effect that it is all hocus - pocus. He starts to tear down the process that are doctors are using to make us better. He is dismantling the solution. He has totally invalidated by salvation with a couple waving hands. I felt like the proverb able rug was ripped out from under me ... I was all excited and he tarnished it a little...It like when you get that brand new bike that you always wanted and the kid next has to point out that the frame is scratched. It is still new and works but it is not quite the same...

But that is okay, because this works for me... Part of my journey is realizing other people are going to have their opinions, comments and finger pointing and not let it get to me.

Enjoy my experiences without any rugs being yanked. Get rid of the rug, they attract dust mites anyways...

Namaste

She made me do it

Well, here it goes. I must first give props to AWM, who inspired the beginning of the end. Secondly, my husband, aka the Inventor, because he has immeasurable patience with me and my quirks. Give him a medal of honor because he has been through the Jill storm with flying colors.

So, Santosha is Sanskrit word for "contentment and/or peace". This year is my journey, battle, marathon, whatever to Santosha. I am entering my 39th year and I have had enough of wantings, haves, have nots and the damned jones. I have a fantastic husband, beautiful house with my blood, sweat & tears smeared on it, a great family and a job. Now is my time to appreciate each and everyone of those things. I hope to explore that appreciation and journey to Santosha with you.

Namaste