The Red Door

So, I am a taskmaster. I love lists. I love checking things off lists. I feel accomplished and empowered as things are crossed off on my list. I know, I know...but you all have a little bit of a thrill crossing off the item on a to-do, c'mon confess, just little boost. I knew it.

So, this past weekend, I was hell bent on painting our front door the perfect shade of Red. Not too orange, not too dark. Perfect shade. Apparently, it is very auspicious to have a red door. Also, the Inventor is English and I love the red and blue front doors in the UK. I get up early to prime and paint the door. Believe me, you need to start early because the paint stays tacky forever and you want to be able to lock your front door on Monday morning. Do not believe the paint can...4 hours my foot, more like 4 days...

Primer went on easy as pie; the perfect shade of Red was not going to be so cooperative. There were roller marks (which drives me bonkers), so I switch rollers, still roller marks, so I try another coat but with a lighter touch, still roller marks (that is 3 coats if you are counting), try a new can of paint, maybe it is the paint, can't be me...So, we lightly sand, and apply two coats of the new can of paint and STILL ROLLER MARKS. I was beside myself with bitchiness. I had put my heart, soul and whole weekend into the painting of this door. I was disappointed and felt oh so cheated. I was robbed! I was horrible to the Inventor. Sorry :(

I was in no way, shape or form living in Santosha. I was sooo anti-Santosha....

At this point, I started rationalizing. "It looks great from a distance and who is going to get close enough to see the marks?”, so I said enough is enough, let it go. I was being quite good about letting it go...the door went up, new hardware and locked Monday morning. Driving out Monday, I thought to myself, that red door looks odd with our house. But I dare not say anything because of the hassles all weekend. Tuesday I ask the Inventor, what he thought of the red door. He says, "I want to see in the day light, it was dark when I came home". I am all perplexed (bit offended too...but I have no right because I was thinking the same thing) and say, "What do you mean by that? Do you not like the red door?” So, a bit of the same thing back and forth and we both realized we did not like it...

We are currently looking at shades of brown, the original color by the way...

Namaste

The Rug was Yanked

Has this ever happened to you? You have some problem, dilemma, ailment, etc and you have done everything on this green earth to solve it. You have tried Ayurvedic medicine, yoga, running, western medicine, this herb, that herb, yoga, the endocrinologist, quackery, physical therapy, massage therapy...everything to the point I have gone crazy....oh yeah, also a psychologist...

So, I found a chiropractor and acupuncturist for one more go at the solution. The Inventor says he will come along because he has a numb toe and a bump wing...so, we go to a couple of sessions, we are feeling much better. We have been SAVED! It is a miracle! I can do things I have not been able to do in 3 years! I have a doctor who actually believes my symptoms are worth treating. He does not say, "Yeah, yeah...take this $300 prescription and you will be fine. You will lose all touch with reality but you will be able to sleep". I am feeling good and normal. I have found the SOLUTION!!!! TAH DAH!!!

Then, while having dinner with friends and boasting about the new us, the Inventor makes the waving hand gestures to the effect that it is all hocus - pocus. He starts to tear down the process that are doctors are using to make us better. He is dismantling the solution. He has totally invalidated by salvation with a couple waving hands. I felt like the proverb able rug was ripped out from under me ... I was all excited and he tarnished it a little...It like when you get that brand new bike that you always wanted and the kid next has to point out that the frame is scratched. It is still new and works but it is not quite the same...

But that is okay, because this works for me... Part of my journey is realizing other people are going to have their opinions, comments and finger pointing and not let it get to me.

Enjoy my experiences without any rugs being yanked. Get rid of the rug, they attract dust mites anyways...

Namaste

She made me do it

Well, here it goes. I must first give props to AWM, who inspired the beginning of the end. Secondly, my husband, aka the Inventor, because he has immeasurable patience with me and my quirks. Give him a medal of honor because he has been through the Jill storm with flying colors.

So, Santosha is Sanskrit word for "contentment and/or peace". This year is my journey, battle, marathon, whatever to Santosha. I am entering my 39th year and I have had enough of wantings, haves, have nots and the damned jones. I have a fantastic husband, beautiful house with my blood, sweat & tears smeared on it, a great family and a job. Now is my time to appreciate each and everyone of those things. I hope to explore that appreciation and journey to Santosha with you.

Namaste