Peace

Peace. It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart. – unknown

I am graduated! Do you see the change? I know, don’t I walk taller and have an air of yoga knowledge…hhmmm…very mysterious and mystical, eh?

Nope not at all, don’t feel much different, other than a bit relieved. One more thing is off my plate. That monkey has jumped down off my back and scurried to the corner and is hanging out for a bit. But, don’t worry the monkey is only doing a quick costume change, and then it will resume its place, in a fanciful, pink outfit, by the name of “Teacher’s Training – Year 2”. The Year 2 program starts in May and I need to make a decision, whether I jump or not. But for now let that monkey dance for a bit in the corner by itself. I need to relish end of one before I think of the second.

So, the graduation was lovely and nice until we had to discuss homework. We had to share something with everyone about our year long journey, as well as our philosophy. As par for the course, Jill showed up in good form and was a fine example of underachievement and what not to do when trying to pass a yoga teacher's training class. I came completely under prepared and abysmally lacking compared to my fellow students.

Example #1 - On Saturday, we had to share our philosophy. I had been doing the word association thing to come to my philosophy, right? Well, let's say the monkey was still trying to understand his left from his right, while all the other monkeys where doing arabesques...It went something like this –

Yoga Bob – “Jill (first person to go), what is your philosophy? “
Jill – “Well, I did this word association thing after mediating (yeah right, way to
practice Asteya) and thinking about what my philosophy is. The three words that
kept recurring are running, sunshine and nature”
Yoga Bob – “so, your philosophy is running, sunshine and nature?
Jill – “Yes, or things to do with these ideas. I like all these things.”
Yoga Bob – “Next, please.”
Student #2 – “My philosophy of life is making opportunities out of
obstacles. Trying to always strive and see the good in all instances…”

Yep, home run. Running, sunshine & nature. I am so deep. Everyone had very profound and poetic philosophies of life. Nope not Jill, Running, sunshine & nature. I am the Edsel of the yoga world.

On my way home in the car, I was beating myself up over my stupid response – I say to myself in the dorky voice with teeth barring and face scrunched “Running, sunshine & nature, duh”, “Stupid head”. After lambasting myself, I began to think about my 3 things and how they play into my philosophy. Still didn’t get there, still missing something, philosophy-less for one more day.

Example #2 - On Sunday, while sitting around and talking before class, my classmate pulls out this memory board. Hand made, sparkling, meaningful with a mantra and mala beads. I say, “Isn’t that pretty. That is so nice you brought that to show us”. While saying this, the fellow student looks at me completely bewildered...”Yeah, it was my best attempt at the homework.” What did she say, “homework”. “What do you mean homework?”, “Jill, we were supposed to bring something to share with everyone today” SSSSHHHHIIIITTTT.

We were to bring something to share with the group that signifies our yoga journey. I looked around, people had flowers and poems to give out and share. SSSSHHHHIIIITTT. Okay, don’t panic, what's in your purse. Gum? Everyone loves Gum. “Yoga I am stuck on you like gum” – no; hair band? “Yoga ties it all together and keeps my hair out of my eyes for me?” Wes probably doesn’t need one. – no, one last pocket – aaaahhhhh bingo!

I have my new beginnings Chinese proverb from Jen. Nothing to share other than my story, but hey you can’t maintain marginal status and expected to complete a project too.

Jump forward 15 minutes and it is my turn to share and as if I was possessed, the words are tumbling out of my mouth. Peace. My philosophy and journey in yoga so far has been about peace. And running, sunshine and nature give me peace and I am peaceful in those environs. Why didn't I see it I have created and surrounded myself with it…. my peace sign necklace, the quote above on my desk at work, the new beginnings Chinese proverb, etc. So, my philosophy, finally came – Peace, from life, myself and for others. In all things, I try to reach peace. After years of struggle, I just want peace and to live a peaceful contented life.

Woowhhooo...no longer philosophy-less.

Namaste