She is a hard habit to break ...

This past weekend was the lifestyle yoga weekend. One of the topics of discussions was being conscious of our actions and thoughts. Being in the present and realizing how much we do each day that is pure habit and on auto drive. So, I thought I would start writing about some of the habits I find in my day.

My recent move to a new department has brought a lot of pre-conceived judgments and old habitual ways of relating out of me. In a previous life, I had the pleasure of working for one of the most difficult women on the face of this earth. Nothing was good enough, fast enough, or done quite right. I bent over backwards to try to read her mind and please her. This would be the time that I got it right. Nope, not the right shade of green in the presentation. There was so much tension and anger in our interactions and relationship. I can say that without a doubt it was my most toxic work relationship on record.

Well, my new client has the same management style and demeanor as my first nemesis. The minute she opens her mouth or I get an email from her, I am transported back 10 years to the 33rd floor of bank in Boston. The old angst, tension, and anger just bubbles up like it were yesterday. Toxicity all over again. Trees or no trees.

However, after this weekend’s discussion, I have cause to pause. Am I giving the new manager a fair chance by bringing all the junk from my past? I need to step back and break that habitual response. I need to let this relationship develop into what it will be on its own without my pre-conceived habitual response.

To be continued …

Namaste